


How To Date in the 21st Century

by speedgriffon



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Comedy, Multi, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-17
Updated: 2014-04-21
Packaged: 2018-01-19 17:29:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1478044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/speedgriffon/pseuds/speedgriffon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A vacation is what Nick Fury calls it, but for Earth's mightiest heroes, readjusting to the real world can be just as painful as cognitive recalibration.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pie Bribes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the start of his vacation, Steve meets a woman who is leading several clean-up crews throughout New York. He wants to volunteer, but can Steve really do anything anymore without Tony meddling in his affairs? Even with Pepper's help, Steve is cornered into a rather ridiculous plan.

Time off—that’s what Directory Fury had called it, and almost demanded out of the group. _The Avengers_ was their unofficial name, but after Tony Stark took the liberty of buying the copyrights to the name, it looked like the title would stay. Regardless of what the world was calling them, Nick Fury had a point; the Earth’s heroes needed to disappear until the situation calmed. It had only been a few weeks since the portal above Stark Tower had been closed, and the clean-up process wasn’t going to be any easier for the Director if he had to perform public relations on six so-called-superheroes.

For Steve Rogers, this leisure time would be spent readjusting to the new time period he found himself in. Since waking from his 70 year slumber, he had little time to really study anything he encountered, and it left him feeling _all-brawn_ and _no-brain._ The relentless teasing from the others didn’t help either; it was if they purposely spoke phrases or jokes that would go right over the Captain’s head. Regardless, Steve knew he had to grow accustomed to this new life if he ever wanted to find some kind of happiness ever again.

At first, Steve stayed in the apartment suite in Stark tower that Tony had offered him, but between his constant pestering and questions and pure boredom, he didn’t stay cooped up in the business for long. Outside, on the streets of New York, he wandered, and started to question just how much he had missed. He wondered, to himself, if _he_ was the alien from another world rather than the beings responsible for the attack on the city. For the most part, he started coming to his own conclusions about new technology and customs that he saw, sometimes not wanting the real answer to what he saw. In a journal he had, he kept his thoughts, hoping one day he would understand.

One morning, he got an early start, making sure he didn’t run into the Stark CEOs on his way outside. These walks around the city were mostly aimless, and almost daily, Steve found himself lost in parts of town he knew he shouldn’t be wandering. For once, he was determined to get a good map of the city and find new spots he could be comfortable in.

The area around Stark tower had been cleaned up relatively fast, but as Steve wandered further away, in a direction he hadn’t travelled before, he noticed not all the destruction had been erased. Almost every block had some kind of damage to it and it developed a horrible guilt inside him; sure they had defeated the enemy, but at what cost?

At the end of the block stood another building, and as Steve neared it, he noticed a group of people cleaning up the rubble surrounding it. Initially, he stepped to avoid the small crowd, but upon a second glance, he noticed the word _volunteer_ marked on a banner that hung off a table where a woman handed out flyers. Quickly, he snatched a pamphlet and raised an eyebrow at the map depicted on the paper. It looked like a normal street map of New York City, but with multiple red circles drawn over various spots. On the other side, a picture from Steve’s past stared up at him as he took another glance; “The Star Spangled Man”, in full costume, being used in a similar way it had been back when it was taken, for recruitment.  

Steve glanced up again, observing the people in the building. It was something he always did, but now, more than ever he felt like he needed to learn people’s motives as soon as possible. They were ordinary people, and suddenly he felt guilty- it was his mess to clean up, not theirs. He looked back to the map in his hands and sighed.

“Are you planning on volunteering?”

“Oh,” A little startled, Steve looked at the woman in front of him and frowned. “I’m not sure,” he mumbled. Nervously, he scratched his head and observed the small smile she developed, as if she was amused.

“Well we could use the help,” she paused before laughing, mostly to herself. “We started offering food like Apple Pies for people’s time, but even that isn’t working,”

_Apple Pie_ —Steve shook the thought out of his head, a little embarrassed he could be so influenced by such a bribe. Then again, it _was_ his favorite food, and in-between Tony’s love for the exotic and his lack of cooking skills, Steve didn’t always get a good meal.

“A whole one?” he attempted to joke and chuckled when the girl copied him.

“Of course,” she replied before raising an eyebrow. “Mister…” her voice trailed and Steve snapped his gaze back to her, a little startled while reprimanding himself for being so impolite, especially toward a woman; _especially_ toward a woman offering him food.

“Rogers,” he offered his hand for her to shake and grinned. “Steve Rogers,” he clarified.

“I’m June Arthur,” she replied, gripping his hand with her own in return. “Kind of like _June Carter_ ,” she added. Steve felt his expression falter at her words; another reference he didn’t understand. There was another pang in his heart at the mention of _Carter_.

“Sorry,” he apologized, before taking his hand back. Now he felt sheepish. “I’m not uh… good with names,” he tried. June only offered a smile before placing the flyers she had been holding in her free hand on the table.

“Then just think of the month,” she offered. Steve couldn’t think of a good enough response and thought he had lost another opportunity to meet new people when June turned around. But when she twisted back with a white box, he tried not to act like a kid with candy as he noticed the pie through the clear top window. “Consider this advance payment,”

Almost on purpose, Steve took his time gathering the box in his hands, wanting to watch June a little more closely. She seemed to trust him enough to be nice, but the more he stared at her smile, the more he thought she was probably just a nice person; something he found comfort in. He only gave it a passing thought, but with one more glance to the clean-up crew behind her, he committed to the situation.

“When can I help?” he finally asked.

June’s eyebrows jumped, as if she was surprised he was actually interested. A brief moment of guilt wracked him and he stole a glance at the baked goods in his hands before looking at her again. Already she had developed a pen, and without question, she started scribbling atop the box. He kept it steady and attempted to read what she was writing.

“Whenever you are free,” June answered, before tapping the box with her finger, right over the place she had written. “Just call and I can tell you where the next project is,” a small tint came to her cheeks and Steve wondered why _she_ felt embarrassed. “That’s _my_ number,”

“Oh,” Steve responded, still confused by her sudden meek look. It wasn’t like he was intimidating, was he? He swallowed hard, a little worried. “Thank you,” he spoke.

“I better get back to work,” June moved to pick up her stack of flyers once more, but paused, almost allowing him to have the final word. Calmly, Steve thought about a polite but modern farewell.

“It was nice meeting you,” he smiled, and turned away only after she returned the gesture.

Without noticing it, Steve started walking back toward Stark tower, hardly taking his eyes off the apple pie in his hands and the line of numbers at the corner with a tiny signature; June. The pleased expression stayed with him almost all the way back to the apartment suites at the top of Stark tower. It wasn’t until he noticed Miss Potts sitting in the large common area that he breathed out, not wanting to look _too_ excited.

“Hello Steve,” she greeted, offering a small wave as he stepped to place the boxed desert on the kitchen bar.

Pepper didn’t pay any extra attention to his new belonging, and instead glanced back to her laptop and pile of paperwork. Anxiously, Steve stared at her phone sitting at the end of the desk before looking at the number on the box.

“Can I use that?” he asked, and Pepper momentarily glanced at where he was pointing before nodding.

The _iPhone_ , as Pepper called it immediately confused Steve, but he wanted to at least try to figure this all out on his own first. He didn’t like asking for help, especially when it came to technology. Still, he only managed to get as far pressing the only button on the phone before feeling lost. _Slide to unlock_ —what could that mean?

“Steve,” Pepper’s voice made him move his vision to her, and he could only guess how dumb he looked. “Do you need help?” she questioned, already standing up. It was no use denying it now. Steve nodded and handed the phone back to her. “Are you trying to call somebody?” she asked. Again, Steve felt giddy.

“Y-yeah,” he answered, hand on the back of his head as he gestured to the pie. Pepper leaned over to read the note on the box and almost immediately, she widened her eyes, staring at him with a bewildered look.

“You met a girl?” the pitch in her voice rose, but Steve didn’t understand her surprise.

“She gave me a pie,” he responded. Pepper’s eyes only widened further before knitting her eyebrows together. “What?” he asked. She only grinned, obviously entertained.

“Steve you are so naïve,” she whispered, before messing around with the phone for a moment. “Here,” she handed it back and Steve observed the numbers that were on the box, now on the screen of the phone. “When you are ready, just press the green button,” she explained.

Steve gulped, suddenly feeling nervous. The last time he took a phone call, it was in the 1940’s; he wasn’t sure what to say. Almost as if Pepper could hear his thoughts, she tilted her head.

“If it keeps ringing, and you have to leave a message, just tell her to call this number back,” without missing a beat, she breathed to explain herself further. “She’ll understand,” she finished.

Finally, Steve pressed the green button, and what he assumed was out of curiosity, Pepper lingered. Holding the phone to his ear, he listened to the multiple rings, and wondered just what he was waiting for. Finally, he heard June’s voice, and parted his lips in anticipation to greet her, but found it was just what Pepper had said, a recording of sorts. There was a beep and Pepper waved at him, motioning him to speak.

“Ah, um,” he swallowed hard again. “Hello June, this is Steve, uh Steve Rogers, just calling, like you said,” he paused, at a loss for words. Pepper looked at him with worry before softly whispering words to him, and luckily, he caught on, repeating them to the phone. “You can call me back on this phone at any time,” he finished before rushing a goodbye.

Steve felt strange as he pulled the phone away, but Pepper smiled, encouraging him. She took the phone back and fiddled with it some more, and Steve looked back to the box. After a moment, Pepper chuckled. He relaxed, but only for a moment as the doors to the lounge area opened, and Tony entered. As always, he seemed to be in good spirits and grinned widely at them.

“Pepper, my lady,” he laughed, pressing a hand to her back and kissing her cheek. Tony glanced to Steve, his other hand pressing to his shoulder. “Steve, my man,” he somewhat teased. Steve shifted away a little, still unsure of the man’s motives. “What’s this?” Tony greedily moved the box to him, but paused, immediately noticing the name and number on the box.

“Steve brought it home,” Pepper hesitated, silently apologizing in advance to Tony’s incoming and probable teasing.

“ _June_ ,” Tony read and slowly, a devious grin appeared on his lips. “You took a woman’s pie?” he laughed, and Pepper’s expression flattened. Steve ignored him, and moved to take the box back.

“She _gave_ it to me,” he insisted. Pepper raised her hands between the two before Tony could respond.

“Just,” she exhaled and shook her head. “Stop talking,” she snapped, walking back to her desk.

Tony took a long look at Steve, which he returned before they were both distracted by the sound Pepper’s phone started to make on the counter. Before Steve could realize what was happening, Tony grabbed it, grinning madly as he pressed the phone to his ear.

“Stark Industries, Pepper Potts’ phone, Mr. Tony Stark speaking,” he smoothly spoke. Both Pepper and Steve moved to chase after him as he moved, and quickly it turned into a small game for Tony as he jumped on top of furniture, rushing around the room to avoid them. “ _Oh_ , you must be _June_ ,” Tony laughed, and ducked out of Pepper’s grasp. Steve stalled, not wanting to break anything as Tony stood on top of the kitchen counter.

“Well, Steve _just_ stepped out, but,” he paused and only chuckled at both Steve and Pepper’s looks of hatred. “You are more than welcome to come visit him here,”

Pepper gave up and moved to comfort Steve who was now regretting even leaving his room that day. Tony only spoke on the phone for a while more, but didn’t attempt to apologize as he tossed the phone back at Pepper.

“What have you _done_?” she snapped, and pushed at his shoulder roughly. Steve remained calm, even though his mind was racing with unanswered questions and much unwanted fear. Finally, he glanced to Tony who was still grinning from ear to ear.

“I did Steve a favor,” he simply answered. “Maybe now he’ll get laid,”

With that, Pepper smacked the _Iron Man_ , which only amused Steve for a moment before he weighed the pros and cons of what his day had really entailed. For once, however, as he looked back to the white box that held the apple pie, the food he loved so much, he found that same comfort June had inadvertently offered him in such a short amount of time. Perhaps Tony _had_ done him a favor, but it was something Steve would never admit.   


	2. Hardly Working

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve struggles with a crash-course on technologies of the 21st century. Pepper struggles with Tony's childlike behavior. Meanwhile, Clint struggles with boredom.

The mood in the offices of Stark tower changed dramatically since Tony had invited the mysterious June to the business. Sure, it had been on a whim; he had no idea what the woman meant to Steve, but he was curious. He found his answer when Steve finally allowed the event to happen, agreeing on Tony’s invitation for a Wednesday morning meeting. Pepper wasn’t as easy to allow his indiscretions go.

Tony anticipated her to be upset with him for the rest of the day, but as Monday evening slipped into Tuesday morning and she was nowhere to be found, he wondered if he had done something else to piss her off. After all, he had really only messed with Steve, not her. With the help of Jarvis, however, he tracked them both down, genuinely surprised by what he found in the CEO office.

Steve sat at Pepper’s desk, and Tony could almost see the line of smoke coming off of his head as he concentrated on what Pepper was saying. Every few moments, Steve would touch the keyboard, his movements always delayed out of confusion.

“What’s this?” Tony asked while keeping his usual smirk as Pepper ignored him. He stood next to the desk and stifled a laugh at Steve’s frown. It seemed basic typing was like trigonometry to him, not that he knew what _that_ was either.

“A plan,” Pepper answered sharply, her body moving as she gathered some paperwork into a nearby briefcase. “Steve needs an excuse as to why he’s at Stark tower, and to why _Tony Stark_ knows him by name,” she dictated, and her gaze finally meeting his, albeit more a glare than anything.

“Why can’t he just tell the truth?” Tony responded, shrugging. While he was only _slightly_ joking, Pepper didn’t humor him back.

“Oh yes, that would roll over nicely with Director Fury,” she stood straight up, hands on her hips. “Hi June, I’m not just Steve Rogers, but I’m also Captain America, leader of ‘ _The Avengers_ ’,” she raised an eyebrow at her lover and sometimes boss, as if to taunt him.

“Hey now, _I’m_ the leader,” he argued, ignoring her point.

“You owe him-”

“What? I did him a-”

“I’m right here,” Steve interrupted and the two glanced over at his small pout. “I mean…” in the silence, he gulped before turning back to the computer screen. Even he was afraid of Pepper’s wrath, even if she was fighting _for_ him. Tony flat out laughed, but fumbled as Pepper thrust the briefcase she had filled into his arms.

“Get dressed,” she started, eyeing his jeans and _AC/DC_ t-shirt. “We have a meeting at S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters,” she simply stated, walking back to her desk where she pulled on a suit jacket, offering no more of an explanation as she pressed her phone to her ear. “Pepper Potts speaking,” she answered, rushing toward the office elevator. “I’ll be waiting with Happy,” was all she said before the silver doors closed behind her.

“She’s happy,” Tony remarked, hoping to get some sort of rise out of Steve. All the man did was eye him suspiciously and pretended to ignore him as well as he typed, extremely slowly. “What are you even doing?” Tony asked, changing the subject as he looked at the computer screen, laughing again at the _Wikipedia_ page he had open on _June Carter_. “Researching?” he teased, only worsening the scowl Steve had been wearing since he entered the room.

“Mr. Stark,” Jarvis suddenly called, practically saving Steve from more torture. “Miss Potts is calling,” the electronic voice affirmed. “I suggest you not ignore her,” Rolling his eyes, Tony turned to make his exit.

“Fine,” he answered, but stole one last glance at Steve who would soon be alone in the office. “Just keep an eye on _Old Glory_ ,”

* * *

Clint Barton wandered the offices of the New York S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters, his expression relaxed but mind racing. There was a lot to do in the city, with so much alien technology and corpses to collect, and yet he felt almost bored. So far, Fury couldn’t determine any existing threat to the agency, let alone the _Avenger Initiative_ he had created. That news allowed Clint to relax, but as the rest of the team found other business to take care of, he found himself alone and out of ideas on how to entertain himself.

It was another day glancing through open case files, trying to find _anything_ that perked his interests. Sure, he was dying for some more action, but wasn’t going to settle for anything _too_ easy. At first he had approached Fury firsthand, but after finding a closed door and a sharply dressed woman in the Director’s waiting area, he knew it would be a long time before he would have something to do.

Instead of moving on, he sat across from the woman, who was busy tapping away on a small laptop, her lips pursed tightly as she typed. Clint continued to observe her work as he pretended to flip through his own files, even though he knew done of the cases he held in his hands weren’t worth his effort. Growing more amused by her feverous typing, he lifted his head, making sure she noticed him staring from across the room.

“You one of Tony’s?” he asked, smiling to himself as he guessed. Her clothes were far too nice to work for anybody else.

“Actually,” she started, her keystrokes only slowing. “I am Miss Potts’,” finally the woman stopped her work long enough to steal a glimpse of Clint. He would be lying if he didn’t find her stare alluring, but it was too brief for him to form a true opinion of it. “I’m _her_ PA,”

Again her fingers clicked the keys in a lighting-speed pace, distracting him momentarily. He wanted to make conversation, but now he just wanted to pick her brain.

“You’re new?” he inquired next. She took another small peek at him and breathed out. Clint raised an eyebrow, unsure if she was really that annoyed with him.

“Yes,” she answered, flatly. He took her short answer as a challenge, and leaned back in his chair, never taking his eyes off her movements.

“Are you sure you can handle the infamous Mr. Stark?” he smirked. She still seemed unnerved, her gaze sticking to her computer.

“Again, I work for _Miss Potts_ ,” she reiterated. Finally, she stopped her work as the voices inside Fury’s office neared the door. Closing her laptop, she eyed him with devious delight. “Do not underestimate me,” she smiled, and Clint clenched his teeth at her ferocity.

The Director’s door opened then, and almost simultaneously, the assistant and Clint stood up, albeit her posture and belongings much more organized. She walked ahead with Pepper as she exited first, the woman just as refined. Clint couldn’t resist watching the two walk away, admiring the way pencil skirts and expensive heels made the female posterior look.

“I hope you aren’t staring at _my_ Pepper,”

Clint snapped his eyes to see Tony, eyeing him suspiciously. The silence didn’t last long as the two shared a laugh and a handshake.

“I see you have a new assistant,” Clint remarked, hoping to learn a little bit more about the tenacious female. Tony looked at him again with a careful eye.

“Don’t you have some eggs to nest?” he joked, leaving Clint with a flat expression. “Or are you trying to _find_ some eggs to nest?”

“Your jokes are getting a little stale,” Clint grumbled and dropped the entire situation mentally. Tony stepped past him and nodded at him once.

“I’ll see you soon, bird brains,”

Nick Fury took Tony’s place in the doorway and raised an eyebrow at Clint. He quickly handed the files he had borrowed from him back and gave him a determined stare.

“I need a new distraction,”

* * *

Tony kept a watchful eye on Pepper’s expression the entire day they travelled from meeting to meeting, and the more passive she stayed, the more worried he got. There was no feasible reason for her to stay this upset for so long and there was definitely nothing for her to gain. He began to think there was something else entirely wrong with Pepper that influenced her to treat him in such a manner. It wasn’t even lunch time before Tony started tuning out the world, all his focus on how he was going to redeem himself, even though he wasn’t quite sure what he had done wrong.

“ _Alice,_ ”

Pepper’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he glanced to the women talking next to him in the estate car. She seemed to be speaking more with her new assistant, even upon matters that required Tony’s opinion. He listened as Alice was told about the next day, and how she would not be needed thanks to Steve replacing her while June visited. The young woman shifted next to him and he sighed, already uncomfortable with how Pepper had purposely sat on the other side of her.

Happy took the detour Pepper instructed, and Tony watched the women again as they both shuffled out of the car, and shared a brief exchange before Pepper slid back in. She stayed right where she had been, on the far end of the backseat and only turned to Tony after his lingering stare finally wandered back to the window.

“What?” Pepper questioned softly, her body jerking slightly as Happy pulled the car back into traffic.

“Well _I_ don’t know,” Tony shrugged, tilting his head against the headrest as he turned slightly towards her. “I thought apologizing to Steve would make you happy,”

 “ _Tony_ ,” Pepper sighed and her hand moved to the bridge of her nose. Still, Tony caught the faintest hint of a smile. He guessed it was harder for her to stay focused on being mad when there was nobody else to talk to. Pepper realized he was reading her and rolled her eyes, effectively giving up. “You _never_ apologized to him,” she raised an eyebrow, but allowed Tony to reach over and grip her hand.

“Come tomorrow, when he gets some action, I won’t need to _apologize_ ,” he chuckled at Pepper’s annoyed glance. “Can we stop using that word? I think I’ve reached my yearly quota for it,” laughing some more, he linked their hands, preventing her from toying with her phone or paperwork.

“There is still a lot of work for you to do,” Pepper reminded, her tone at last returning to its usual spunk. He curled his lips into a devious smile.

“Yeah, to _you_ ,” he winked as Pepper sighed, ignoring his pass, even if it was just a joke. “Hey, I thought you didn’t want to be my assistant anymore now that we’re quote, unquote dating,” he turned his body some more, as much as the seatbelt would allow, and watched Pepper finger some papers on her lap with her free hand.

“I don’t think you can afford to lose me after what just happened,” she whispered.

Tony struggled to understand just what she meant, and gulped at her soft voice. She wasn’t mad, not anymore, but she seemed a little solemn. He tried to ignore the way his heart dropped into the pit of his stomach and cleared his throat, catching Pepper’s attention.

“Can we at least have some fun tomorrow?” he pouted, pulling the little-kid act he knew Pepper adored just as much as she hated.

After failing in pursing her lips, she softly laughed, nodding her head. Tony smiled adoringly at her as he released her hand, allowing her to return to her scheduling. Still watching, he leaned into his seat and got comfortable for the long commute back to Stark tower. It wasn’t like he minded though; with his view, they could drive forever and he would never get bored.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story starts to jump from one group of characters to another starting with chapter 3. When you have to keep track of a cast of so many, you just have to break them up, or else every chapter would be so short trying to get an update on everything.


	3. Coulson Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint discovers something important encrypted in S.H.I.E.L.D files. Natasha wants to help, but is stuck playing secretary to Fury. Instead, they find help in the unlikeliest of people.

S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters had become a chaotic mess in the weeks after the attack on New York City. Agents from across the United States and the country converged on the headquarters, and joined the effort to both clean and cover the event up as much as possible. For Agent Natasha Romanoff, it was hard to adjust to the mess, and even harder to work around it. At first, she had ignored Fury’s request that she take a break from her duties, but as it became more and more difficult to maneuver around the agency offices, she finally slowed down.

Natasha had settled into her office apartment and began tackling the monotonous task of sorting paperwork, as a lot had been generated from the numerous reports she had to write for both Nick Fury and the World Security Council. For the most part, she had kept them straightforward, but concealed what needed to be kept a secret. Natasha had been content with this desk job, but after her initial interview with Tony Stark, she felt the reports were turning into more of a chore. Still, she collected what she had and decided to get either Fury’s approval or dismissal for more information.

Fury’s waiting room had been surprisingly empty for mid-week. It wasn’t like Natasha needed an appointment, but she was glad she wouldn’t have to wait either. If she was going to do this kind of work, she wanted to get it done as quickly and efficiently as possible. However, when she finally his office, she found him busy with his own work.

“Director Fury,” she called. He glanced up and eyed the stack of folders in her arms. “I’ve completed some reports on the list of operatives you gave me,” she placed the paperwork on his desk and raised an eyebrow as he immediately moved them to the side. “Well, _you’re welcome_ ,” she mumbled.

Fury only offered a flat glare before pushing a file in her direction. It was small, but the red tape around the edges made it highly confidential and extremely interesting to the eye.

“I want you to check up on Dr. Banner,” he paused to exhale a large breath. “If this report has any grain of truth to it, he’ll want some help with his research,” he eyed her again. “You _are_ good at finding information.”

Natasha began skimming the files, wondering why such a confidential file seemed like a simple dig for information. Regardless, she nodded, but still motioned to the report she had just handed over. Fury shook a hand at her, getting the hint. After getting another short scowl from the director, she left the office, file in hand as she walked. She didn’t make it five feet down the hall when she sensed somebody speeding up behind her.

“Nat,” Clint called, gripping her elbow and rushing her into the next nearest area, which just so happened to be a coffee room. She gave him a puzzled look.

“Clint,” she mimicked, tilting her head as if to question his behavior. His eyes were a little wide, but he kept his expression relaxed.

“Did Fury just pass you some insignificant assignment?” he asked, before taking the file from her hands. Natasha gave him another curious glance. “I think he’s hiding something,” he finally said.

“That wouldn’t be surprising…or anything new,” Natasha replied. Fury did seem a little eager to give her the file. It was Clint’s turn to give her a flat, and annoyed expression.

“What if I told you Fury is hiding the fact Coulson isn’t dead?”

Natasha kept silent, knowing that her clearance level was higher than Clint’s. That type of cover-up wasn’t too uncommon, but typically, she was kept in the loop- she was great at keeping secrets. However, this time, the news stirred something uncomfortable in her heart, wondering if this secret was just the tip of the iceberg. Clint glanced around before leaning closer to her.

“I found some encrypted files while looking for more assignments,” he explained. “I don’t know how we are going to do it, but we need to find out the truth,”

“No,” Natasha cut him off, smiling lightly at Clint’s dumbstruck expression. “ _I_ am going to take care of my assignment,” she sighed as Clint began to frown. “Fury will become suspicious if we just run off,”

“I thought you were good at ulterior motives,” Clint mumbled, chuckling when Natasha smacked his chest.

“It takes a lot of practice,” she slowly remarked. “You can’t just jump in,”

“Are we still talking about the same thing?” he joked. Natasha rolled her eyes, turning towards the door. “Hey wait, I’m coming with you.”

“Why?” Natasha asked as he walked beside her towards the elevator. Clint grinned.

“I’m not letting up until you hear me out,” he laughed at her annoyed glance. “Plus, what’s so hard about babysitting Doc?”

* * *

Doctor Bruce Banner was trying hard to search through the S.H.I.E.L.D. databases, but with every new promising file, his security clearance was denied. Fury had promised he’d have access to research to help him with new projects, but it seemed that was limited to what was public knowledge, or at least not harmful to the non-S.H.I.E.L.D eye. Half the day was already gone, and he hadn’t gotten a fraction closer to what he wanted to accomplish. Maybe Tony was right; maybe all Bruce needed was a long vacation, rather than more work.

He was about to quit for the day when two bodies appeared in the doorway, a knock coming to the door a moment too late. Natasha and Clint seemed to share similar curious expressions at the office setup, but immediately split up as the entered. Natasha approached, file in hand, while Clint went to poke around at the equipment scattered around the room. Bruce moved to stop him, but Natasha’s stern look kept him grounded.

“Can I help you?” he asked, eyeing her file. Natasha handed it over, watching as Bruce fingered through information he already knew. “Oh, I see,” he mumbled, nodding.

“Sorry, but Director Fury isn’t about to give you clearance to run across the country hunting down these types of material,” she explained. “But he isn’t opposed to you getting help.”

“So I’m trapped here,” Bruce argued. Natasha pursed her lips, hating the guilt trip the good doctor was trying to pull. “Again,” he pushed. She sighed, and Clint laughed.

“Don’t feel bad, Banner,” he stepped over to his research table. “She shot my idea down too,” Bruce raised an eyebrow, but as Clint was about to explain, Natasha turned her glare to him. Smiling in response, Clint tapped the file. “What were you trying to do, anyways?” he asked.

“Well…” Bruce hesitated; surprised Clint wanted to know anything at all. “I’m doing what I’ve always done between bouts of carnage; I’m looking for a cure.”

It wasn’t surprising that Natasha held a grim expression, instantly worried for what that meant. Clint seemed to ignore the implications of his comment and nodded, eyeing the other tables filled with equipment. Bruce placed his hand on the file, scooting it back to Natasha.

“I was hoping to visit some data farms in Oregon-”

“Really now?” Clint cut him off, with a small chuckle. “That’s where I was going to start looking for Coulson!”

With that, Natasha widened her eyes, looking quite mortified at Clint’s announcement. Bruce furrowed his eyebrows, thoroughly confused.

“Hey Nat, maybe Banner can do some espionage in Oregon,” he glanced from her to Bruce, almost giddy. “If you can get his research approved,”

Bruce shook his head, raising his hand defensively as Natasha closed her eyes in thought, looking more annoyed than she had earlier. It seemed the room was a few moments away from exploding when there was another noise at the doorway; a throat cleared.

“You’d need pretty high clearance for that,” the voice rang out, and all three eyed the woman that walked in, closing the door behind her. Clint seemed the most surprised.

“Aren’t you Stark’s girl?” he asked. She gave him a look that envied Natasha and Fury’s glare.

“The name is Alice, and I’m _Pepper’s_ ,” she corrected, before giving Natasha a glowing smile. “Agent Romanoff,” she greeted. Natasha finally smiled, acknowledging the woman.

“Agent Garner,” she replied, glancing to see the two men of the room holding confused looks. “Are you away from your post for a reason?” she asked. Alice curtly nodded.

“I was dismissed for the day,” she explained. “I have been replaced by a 95 year old technology-inept superhero,”

Bruce chuckled, but then froze as he got glances from both women. He shook his head, thinking back to what the short introduction had just alluded to. Clint beat him to the punch.

“Don’t tell me you’re another one of our shadow agents?” he mumbled, a little unimpressed. Alice motioned to Natasha.

“Agent Romanoff had the same assignment before me, if you are trying to insult me,” she rose an eyebrow and he rolled his eyes, sick of powerful women in S.H.I.E.L.D women in spy-suits. “You should be careful who could hear your conversations before you start spewing conspiracy theories,”

“It’s under control,” Natasha guaranteed.

“Is it?” Alice countered. “Fury asked me to make sure Agent Barton didn’t get any cute ideas-”

“Kittens wearing socks,” Clint cut her off, earning a stifled laugh from Bruce. Alice widened her eyes, half dumbfounded by how unprofessional the infamous Hawkeye was being.

“He’s always like this, Garner,” Natasha reassured.

“If I could get a word in,” Bruce raised his hand a little, gaining the operative’s attention. “Are you implying that Coulson is alive somewhere?” he asked. Alice shrugged.

“If he is, it’s at least a Level 8 clearance,” she looked to Natasha. “You’d be able to look into it,”

“ _You’re_ a Level 8?” Clint gasped. “What the hell, why am I only a level 5?”

“Beats my Level 3,” Bruce offered as solace. Natasha smiled at his remark before shaking her head at the ground.

“ _If_ Coulson is alive, don’t you think he’s in hiding for a reason?” she huffed. “Besides, none of us can afford to sneak off to Oregon without being grounded more than we already are,”

“You can’t, but maybe _I_ can,” Alice offered, her tone completely changing. Natasha widened her eyes, while Clint smirked, not believing her. “You are right that Fury wants to keep you and Clint on lockdown, but that doesn’t mean he’s watching every agent, especially somebody on shadow detail,”

“What makes you care so much about finding Coulson?” Clint prompted. Alice sighed, hanging her head low for a moment.

“It wouldn’t be for me, but for Mr. Stark and Miss Potts,” her voice dropped into a whisper. “I don’t think they are coping well with his loss,” she glanced to Natasha again. “It just barely makes it my responsibility, as it protecting the welfare of my assignment,”

“What a loophole,” Bruce chimed in. Alice eyed him and he raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“I’ll need your help,” she remarked, moving to place her hand on his stacks of files. “You’re the one with the excuse to go to Oregon,”

Clint began to laugh, but with a smack to his arm from Natasha, he stopped. Still, he smiled when he noted the tiny grin on her lips.

“Are you sure this can work?” Natasha questioned Alice. The other agent nodded.

“As long as you and Barton can distract Fury,” she turned to Bruce again. “We might uncover the truth,”

It was crazy, Bruce thought as he listened to Natasha and Alice talk out a plan. Then again, he was used to crazy at this point in his life. For once, he let a slow breath go, trying to relax. With this outrageous mission would come the approval of his research, and maybe a chance at feeling normal once again.

 


	4. Fondue Fondont

Wednesday came faster than Steve expected. He had been studying everything Pepper had laid out for him, but as he woke up that morning, he seemed to forget _everything_ , including how to turn the shower on. He was nervous, anxious and a whole slew of other emotions combined, but felt he was only in this mess thanks to Tony’s intervention. Steve tried to look on the bright side; without that unwanted help, he didn’t know if he would’ve have had the guts to meet up with June at all.

He carried his worried expression with him into Pepper’s office, wondering if he had even put his suit on correctly. She was at her desk, flipping through a Stark industries binder when she noticed him, offering a small smile. It took only another moment for Steve to notice Tony was standing there as well, his signature smirk plastered to his face.

“Well if it isn’t the man of the hour!” Tony greeted with his arms opened wide. “You ready Casanova?”

“Don’t you have a meeting with Dr. Banner today?” Pepper interjected. “You know, across town, away from this office?”

“Ouch, it hurts when you are so obviously trying to get rid of me,” Tony pouted as he walked towards Steve, Pepper following with an annoyed look.

“You’ve already meddled enough in Steve’s business, so _yes_ , I am trying to get rid of you,” Pepper explained. Tony sighed, and frowned some more, pulling a look Pepper had once described to Steve as ‘something a sick puppy would make’. “For now…” she finished, not wanting to deal with Tony’s antics.

“Fine, fine,” Tony brushed past Steve, throwing another grin in his direction. “But there better be details later!” he entered the elevator, still talking. “What was she wearing, what did she think of that body of yours and what did she scream out when you-“

Steve felt his face heat up as the doors shut, a sharp ding signifying Tony’s departure. Pepper seemed to be red as well, but Steve knew it wasn’t embarrassment. How she ever put up with that man, he’d never understand. She motioned him back to the desk after a moment, and pointed out the paperwork that covered it. 

“Tony said June would be in before 11, so that gives us a window to get some _real_ work done,” she had Steve sit in the seat in front of the computer, and handed him a file. “These need to be catalogued,” after Steve flashed her a blank, and obviously confused expression, she sighed, closing her eyes. “Oh why did I send Alice away today?”

The elevator suddenly rang out again, and as it opened, the two saw Tony, once again beaming at them as if he had just heard the best joke ever told. Perhaps he was the only one in on it, Steve thought, not enjoying his presence in the slightest.

“So, great story here,” Tony was pacing in front of the elevator. “As I was about to leave, Happy rings me up, tells me there’s this girl at the security check in desk, telling him she has an appointment with me,” he paused, looking to Pepper and Steve to see if they had caught on yet. “Turns out, this girl is carrying some pie,”

“What- did- you- do?” Pepper’s voice was stern through her clenched teeth and even Steve felt a little scared as she stopped over to where Tony was standing. The man didn’t seem as scared, but instead slightly amused. “ _Tony_!”

“Oh I love it when you yell my name, darling,” he giggled as she balled her fists, resting them at her side. “Anyways, I tell Happy to send pie girl up, and that I’d meet her right here,”

Steve froze in his seat, and felt his nerves stand on end. Just what was Tony’s problem lately? He just couldn’t get enough of interrupting other people’s lives and getting in on private affairs, even if it meant screwing up something good. Steve took a breath, knowing he was getting ahead of himself. Tony was a jerk, yes, but he had good intentions- even if they were clouded behind a lot of flair and annoying words.

“Should I-” Steve swallowed hard, pointing to the computer. “Pretend I’m working now?” he asked. Pepper turned back to him and nodded, rushing to him to sift through more paperwork. Tony laughed again, and pointed to the elevator doors as they dinged once more, revealing their guest.

“Show time!”

June stood frozen momentarily, her expression unreadable from Steve’s position across the room. Tony approached her as she stepped forward, gulping as he outstretched an arm.

“You must be the lovely June,” Tony remarked. Pepper immediately walked back over to her lover, struggling to keep her expression calm. Steve continued to pretend to know what he was doing at the computer. “Since you know who _I_ am, let me introduce you to the leader of my company and occasional life-partner,”

“Occasional?” Pepper asked under her breath. She smiled as Tony wrapped an arm around her, observing the girl in front of her. She was dressed plainly, and her hair was pulled into a low side-ponytail. In her arms was a box with a clear screen front. “I’m Pepper Potts,” she introduced herself, happy for the brief moment of normalcy. June arched her eyebrows in surprise before smiling in response. She then outstretched the box towards the pair.

“I brought you a pie as thanks for inviting me,” she nervously chuckled. “And I suppose for saving the world too.”

Tony glanced from the box to Pepper, and after she let a sigh go, she grabbed it and broke away. Slowly, she walked back to Steve, who was struggling to find the right way to participate in the conversation. He wasn’t that great with banter, especially when he was up against a master like Tony. He wasn’t that great at _flirting_ either, something Tony and even Pepper had suggested. Somehow he had to get from this tense environment to lunch, which he had hoped June would be up for.

“Now then,” Tony turned to them, waving June to follow. “You obviously know our assistant Steve,”

June smiled again, and Steve swallowed hard, feeling pressured to keep the act up. He thought himself lucky that the girl didn’t recognize him, or else she’d just be another groupie for S.H.I.E.L.D to deal with. He heard that Tony had is share of those types, and Steve wanted nothing to do with that scenario. Instead he wanted to trust June had a good character from what she had lead on.

“Hello again,” she spoke, breaking Steve from his thoughts. He stood, not being able to break his old habits. Her head tilted back to adjust to the height difference, and Steve smiled back.

“Hello.”

“This is just adorable,” Tony remarked, breaking Steve’s concentration. He shot him a quick glare, and found himself slightly amused as Pepper did the same. June seemingly ignored him, and continued to offer a tiny grin. Pepper instead shook her head at Tony and motioned between the two.

“I understand Steve is going to help your volunteer group clean up areas of the city,” she paused, eyeing Tony carefully. “Perhaps Stark industries can spare some resources to help?” she asked. June waved her hands in front of her.

“No, no, you have already done so much,” she politely refused. Tony leaned some more into the conversation.

“Well, then you’ll just have to let me take you to lunch instead,” he remarked. June widened her eyes before glancing between every person in the room. Steve winced, extremely annoyed once again. Pepper dug her hand into Tony’s shoulder, forcing a laugh.

“Dearest,” she pointed. “ _Steve_ was going to take June to lunch,” she reviled. June glanced to Steve, a curious eyebrow raised. Steve quickly nodded, reaching up to adjust his tie as his nerves resurfaced.

“Yes, I was,” he agreed. Pepper smiled at the two before turning her head at Tony, widening her eyes in warning. Tony seemed to think, for a moment, before rolling his eyes and chuckling.

“ _Or_ ,” he offered. “Or we can all go to lunch together!”

Tony seemed delighted, but Steve was horrified. Pepper seemed on the brink of throwing him out the large pane windows of the offices. June stood confused at the tension. She hummed for a moment before speaking up.

“Are you ok with that Steve?” she was trying to defuse the situation, and Pepper wanted to bless her heart with the patience she had. Steve acknowledged her words as well, and knew there was no way to fully win in this situation. Hesitantly, he nodded, before glancing at Tony, who was basking in his moment of glory.

“Then I have one question for you,” Tony waited. “Do you _fondue_?”

* * *

Clint was bored, again. After the agreement was set with Dr. Banner and Agent Garner, he and Natasha went to make their own plans on how to distract Director Fury. They had decided that the best plan of attack was to just simply do their jobs- quickly and efficiently as possible, so that Fury would just have to keep throwing assignments and missions at them. It was, after all, what Fury wanted out of the two, but somewhere inside, Clint was glad for the action. That was until he realized most of the assignments involved paperwork; a lot of it.

So there he was, sitting before another pile of S.H.I.E.L.D files, playing secretary. There was a little glimmer of hope at the end of this stack of paperwork, however; he didn’t have to complete it alone. Natasha sat opposite of him, analyzing blueprints to a corporate office they were to eventually break into.

“I don’t know how you can sit still, and act as if we _aren’t_ being wasted by Fury,” he spoke, watching as she glanced at him from under her brow. Natasha shook her head, flipping through more pages before tapping on her touch-screen.

“The more clearance you have, the more paperwork there is,” she lifted her head to offer a sly grin. “So consider it a pseudo- promotion.”

Clint sighed, lifting his feet to the desk so he could tilt his chair back. Natasha shook her head at his boredom before failing to hide a yawn. She had to admit, she was craving some real action as well. When Clint noticed her tired expression she smirked before standing up.

“Fine, let’s go,” she pushed. Clint stood up fast, following her out of the offices.

“Where?” he asked eagerly. “Are you finally taking me up on-”

“No.” Natasha didn’t even grace him with a glance before she chuckled lightly to herself. “Alice told me that our little Captain is out on a date today.” She clarified. Clint ignored her quick cover-up before registering the words.

“Steve’s on a date?” he laughed as they entered the elevator. “Please tell me we are going to spy on them?” he was giddy, and Natasha couldn’t help but be amused at his reaction.

“If we can get down to Stark towers, we might be able to catch them,” she finally turned to glance at Clint, and he beamed.

“I love it when you talk spy,”

* * *

It was awkward, and Steve was sure even Tony was realizing this. But it was too late to turn back now, especially since the group had already ordered their food. Steve was sitting as straight as possible, finding it impossible to relax at the table in the corner of the restaurant. He knew people were staring, knowing Tony would always be recognized in this part of town. They were able to keep their privacy thanks to the fact Pepper was utilizing the power of quick glares. Steve admired it, but felt bad she had to resort to it at all, and all because of Tony.

Pepper was also the one driving the conversation, making sure Tony didn’t ask anything _too_ personal of June, all while allowing Steve the opportunity to ask questions of his own. Thanks to Pepper he had learned quite a lot about June; she had lived in New York for years as a student, but had family in Texas and played several instruments thanks to the teachings of her father. The attack on New York had nearly left her homeless, something that upset the whole group, before she mentioned the housing arrangement she had with a friend.

June felt most comfortable talking about the relief efforts, stating she felt it was her responsibility to do something, instead of relying on the police and, of course, the superheroes like Tony. Steve liked that trait of June’s the most, relating to her eagerness to help in any way. She was quiet between other conversations, and Steve noticed her calculating her every move, understanding her nervousness.

“I’ve never been in such a fancy restaurant,” she whispered to him as Pepper mentioned something to Tony. It was endearing; before he met Howard Stark, neither had Steve. He found himself suddenly amused; some things never change.

Their meal came swiftly, and Tony eyed Steve’s burger.

“How _American_ of you,” he teased. Pepper shook her head, poking her fork into her bowl of pasta. June had ordered the same thing, wanting to play it safe, just like Steve. She didn’t understand, and Tony slowly went back into teasing mode. “Steve will certainly make a wonderful volunteer, I mean he wasn’t built for secretary work,”

“It can’t be too easy working for you, Mr. Stark,” June replied, making Pepper smile at her unintended retort. “I mean, Steve must be really busy after the attack,”

“Oh you have no idea,” Tony replied. “He’s ruined a few _uniforms_ cleaning up debris.”

Pepper eyed Tony for what seemed the hundredth time that day and he finally relented, filling his mouth with food instead of words. Grateful for the silence, the group ate, and Pepper took over the conversation once more, keeping it polite until they were finished.

“Back to work?” June asked outside the restaurant. Tony shrugged, while Pepper nodded, a little too eagerly.

“We can give you a ride home, if you’d like,” she offered. June shook her head.

“I live down this block,” she explained. A moment of silence allowed Steve to claim back the day.

“I’ll walk you!” he lowered his voice. “Miss Potts?” he smiled and she nodded, proud that he had said something. It did help she was gripping Tony’s hand rather tightly, however. The two waved as they walked away.

However, as Steve and June lost Tony and Pepper, they gained a new shadow.

* * *

Natasha and Clint followed Steve from a distance, silently taking in the sight of him, in a suit, with a girl. Clint couldn’t help but chuckle under his breath, even if it meant Natasha’s hand smacking him in the arm every few moments. They walked behind Steve until the pair stopped, and after a few moments, the girl entered a building.

Steve had noticed them before they had the chance to rush away. Perhaps they had gotten too caught up in the moment to remember that they _were_ spying on the poor man. He marched over, his brow furrowed, and Clint could only smile innocently while Natasha tried to look as innocent as possible.

“What a coincidence,” she chimed. Steve eyed her, before glaring at Clint. He nodded, wrapping an arm around Natasha.

“Oh yes, what a coincidence,” he repeated, pointing to the nearest restaurant. “It seems this place is popular today for _Avengers_ ,”

Natasha creased her eyebrows together, amazed at how bad Clint was at lying sometimes. She shook her head, knowing Steve wasn’t falling for it.

“You know how fast word gets around,” she explained, and relaxed when Steve did. He was frowning now. “Was it that bad?” she asked. Clint smirked.

“ _Stark_ was there, it couldn’t have ended well,” he remarked. Steve shrugged.

“I can’t even tell if I’ve been dumped or not,” he added. Natasha frowned, felling bad for him.

“You can’t be dumped if you aren’t dating,” Clint interjected before glancing away. “But I know what you mean.”

Steve glanced between the two and noticed Natasha’s pursed lips at Clint’s remark. Before he could get lost in another train of thoughts, she reached out to pat him on the shoulder.

“But you do have another chance, right?” she asked. Steve slowly nodded.

“Dinner on Friday,” he explained. “This time, hopefully, it will be just us two,”

“We’ll keep Tony busy,” Natasha offered, glancing back at Clint. “We’ve become official ‘distractors’, it seems,”

Steve didn’t really understand what she was saying, but went along with it, and nodded. The three traveled back to Stark tower together, and Clint and Natasha watched to make sure Steve got inside the building safely. It was on the commute back to S.H.I.E.L.D that Clint finally looked to Natasha.

“I’m sorry if Steve finds out,” he grumbled, looking away as she eyed him. “Even though there isn’t really anything to find out, or to hide.”

“You need to learn to shut up,” Natasha spoke, with just a trace of humor. “Let it go, Barton,” she assured. Clint sighed, and paused, watching as she walked a little in front of him. “I’m not going to say yes,” she added. “ _Probably_.”

Clint smiled to himself. Maybe desk duty wouldn’t be so bad.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Mirrored from my FF.net account of the same name.
> 
> I started writing this story 2 years ago, and will be sticking to my original plan- The story takes place after the events of The Avengers, before the events of Iron Man 3 and may overlap with the events of Thor: Dark World. As I am not caught up with SHIELD (TV), I will not be referencing it, unfortunately. I'm trying to keep a consistency with the movie-canon, but we'll see how well that goes.


End file.
